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Both clearly loved me. Both wanted a relationship with me. I think both wanted some kind of commitment. Had I misled them? Both knew about the other. Both knew about Birgit. Both knew my mental and emotional state as best as I could explain it. Both claimed to accept it on some level, but both gave signs of not accepting it or thinking they could somehow change it.I hadn’t slept with Becky, which in one way made things easier. If I hurt her now by pushing her away, she’d still have her virginity intact. She was clearly in love with me. Hopelessly, head-over-heels in love, if I was reading her right. If I continued my relationship with her, it would inevitably lead to making love. She had made that clear. And that was a bridge once crossed that could not be uncrossed.I had made love with Jennifer once. The bridge had been crossed. As amazing as that experience was, it might have been better if I hadn’t done that. It had, as Jennie had warned it would, changed the relationship in ways. "That had been hard for me, as Lawrence was my best friend, he had loved to do things together with me as father and son. We did all the macho things such as going to the motor racing, football, hill climbing and riding our mountain bikes. There was no reason why Lawrence as Laura shouldn't do all these things too but it did seem to be difficult to imagine it.I asked Amanda if she wanted to stay the night and she said yes that she wanted to stay in the parents room overnight. I told her that I would go home and take care of the domestic chores at home including feeding our pets and then I would relieve her in the morning.Chapter 2 ? A new beginningThe next day Laura was still pretty groggy after the long period under sedation and didn't really know where she was or what had happened to her. She continued to drift in and out of consciousness all day with the nurses giving her regular painkilling injections and dressing changes.Of course I went to see the therapist and she gave me some.
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